It is an interesting scenario when you realize a fault so clearly that you are shocked by it, or how it can affect your life and happiness as well as others close to you. It is almost like you slap yourself in the face pointing out that there is something you need to change about yourself, whether it be an insecurity thing that can manifest itself when you aren't expecting it, or a habit of being too polite, or anything really. When this fault manifests itself as a self-destructive mistake you can be happy that you are aware of it now and can change it, learn about the inner reasons behind it and nip it in the bud. Make sure it never happens again, or anything like it. This is more productive than hating yourself, I suppose. I really hate making mistakes, and making bad decisions. Sometimes it is TRULY amazing at how stupid you can be. Humbling I guess. Okay I think I'm done now. Obviously I did something stupid, and needed to reflect about it in writing publicly because writing in my journal didn't satisfy this time.