Accountability

Ashley Horner

A while ago I read The Happiness Project.  A wonderful book by Gretchen Rubin about her interest in simply increasing her happiness and general satisfaction with her life.  One of the things she does is create an accountability chart.  Each month she has things to focus on like blogging consistently and she has to check off if she did it or not.  It hold her accountable to her self.  I did this for a month and it really worked, which is a miracle to this queen of inconsistency.  I was blogging regularly, dry-brushing, and I forget what else.  Recently, I've obviously not been on here much, but I have been speaking weekly with my brother about our progress with our goals.  It's been working wonderfully, just to have someone who knows where you're at and who is inspiring.  When we talk I always come out of the conversation feeling like I can do anything, which in fact I can, or I used to believe that.

I've also become a fan of Ashley Horner.  She's a single mom of 2 and is in amazing shape.  She is modeling and training people. She still plays and travels with her children.  How does she do it?  How do all of these amazingly accomplished people do it?  Do they put their relationships aside to do it, or do their relationships foster this kind of growth naturally?  How much time are they putting into their commitments?  Why am I not there?  Am I too distracted by socializing?  Is it actually possible for me to wake up feeling well-rested again?  Why don't I crave salads anymore like I used to?  Where did my yoga practice go?  Is this all part of being 20 something or is it just my iconic inconsistency.

King School Graduation

I remember being told by multiple teachers from middle school through high school that my one consistency is my inconsistency.  I still think about that.  I still see it being true.  I would score a C on one test and a week later score an A on the next one.  I was more of a B student in the end, until it was strongly implied that I was incapable of achieving high scores in school.  Then I buckled down and focused.  I worked HARD for years and committed.  I ended high school with a 4.0 and the year before I held high honor roll the entire year, 3.7+.  I want that focus again.  That hard working Lia that refused to just be Okay at everything.  But now, there is guilt to a greater level.  Guilt and anxiety caused by me? society? my relationship? my family? does it matter from where?

Courtesy of Kris Carr's Facebook

The thing to remember is that guilt and anxiety and FEAR do not serve anyone.  It is time to let go of it all and move forward.  I'm taking steps financially to open my own business in the semi-near future, but until then it is time to step it up.  I just turned 26 last week.  I've rounded the corner into what I view as the age when people start taking you seriously by default (I'm aware this isn't true, it's just my "real adult" number).  I've always had a complex of seeing myself as a kid, but now I can't.  I see myself as an adult.  And one of my strongest values?  Being fit as an adult.  Having a healthy diet CONSISTENTLY!  Working in an environment and job I love until I'm my own boss.  There really is no time better than right now.