Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Let Go

"If a man has done his best, what else is there?"
George S Patton Jr.

Right?  All you can do is your best.  There is that retort: "what if your best isn't good enough?"  It always is good enough for you.  I think that retort is more geared toward if it isn't good enough for others.  Well, we don't need others to put expectations on us now do we?  It can help motivate us to accomplish goals or work harder on projects. But truly doing your best for you, knowing that you have put your all, whatever that may mean in that moment for that thing, brings peace to you.

I have this thing with guilt that I am working on letting go of.  My dear mommy sort of knows what I'm talking about here, since we had a conversation not too long ago about how I feel that she puts these expectations on me to do more of something other than what I'm doing.  A feeling of disapproval.  Well, after a mildly dramatic conversation and her closing comment, "the only thing I expect of you is to take the red out of your hair and let it grow long again," (I am working on the length part for you!) I concluded that it was me who was disapproving of my efforts!  Whaaa?  I know, not the first time we've heard this revelation come out of someone's mouth right?

So, I've done my digging, and found it is part of a larger mega-boss in this video game labyrinth of self-discovery called Guilt!  Self-unsatisfaction. What to do when confronted with said mega-boss: step back, get perspective, objectively analyze, and know that I made the decision as best I could, acted as best I could, and did what I thought was best in that moment - on that day - as me.  This makes mega-boss smaller and less powerful, and over time, it is so small as to be forgotten.  Guilt, like regret, should never be part of one's life.  When every decision is made intentionally, with respect, and with positive intentions we can do no more.  There is nothing else.

The above bit was inspired by Angela's challenge to do one thing a day that scares you.  It just got me thinking about my anxiety that I feel occasionally.  On another note:  I had an amazing Mango today.  You know what I mean.  Those Mangoes - you never know if they are going to be that sweet deep ripe wonderful experience when you buy one you think is ripe.  It could go either way.  Maybe just a tad under ripe, sour and not quite drippy juicy.  Or Over-ripe!  The slightly off taste and acting as natural floss (not good working at the front desk).  This one was perfect.  Ending yet another magnificent day in Chicago, in which I finally got over to gym - did some HIIT - took Tina's Vinyasa class, had some Vegan pizza at Whole Foods (nobody came to beach yoga today), rested my sad sacrum, and updated my blog!  Yay!

Enormous amounts of love!


Sabah said...

Wow, a brilliant very insightful peice !! Educationaland enlightneing too. That's my girl :D

Sabah said...
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