Today I read a nice blog post by one of my all time favorite food bloggers, Gena! It got me to thinking about the pressures of the people around me regarding being vegan. I did stop being vegan for about a year, and have been back to the animal-free world for about 5 months now. I left the vegan world to experiment, again, to see if I could apply the healthy techniques I learned as a vegan to the world of omnivorous food. I found that I could actually. I was quite proud. The thing that I noticed, though, was that I craved a mostly vegan diet and was also feeling a lingering feeling of guilt. The guilt took some time to understand, but it was completely understood when I visited Vera Cruz. I knew that some of the guilt had to do with the fact that I didn't really like eating animal products anymore, and that I couldn't seem to stand up for it. I actually felt bad about knowing that some domesticated animal was created for me to not really enjoy eating it or its products. I wanted to stop, but I felt like I couldn't. I felt like my ex would not approve. That he would mock me. That it would be more difficult to cook for me etc. etc. In Vera Cruz, when they killed that goat for us, I decided that I was done. I hated myself for not standing up for my personal beliefs. When did I become such a scared person!!?? I believe on the drive back from Vera Cruz I told my ex that I was going back to being vegan. I got a bit of grief about it "in the name of making sure I was doing it for a good reason." I stood up for my beliefs and have been feeling so good about it since! I felt so empowered to stand up for myself. I should never feel that I can't, and I decided not to let my worry about that happen again. If whoever doesn't agree with my views, that is perfectly fine, but they are mine, and it is my lifestyle choice, something I love living and I believe in strongly.
the other interesting thing that struck me was that I used to be very strong about my beliefs, with no fear about judgement etc. At some point, that Lia started to falter. I think she took a step back for a couple of years actually, but it seems like she's back...or really that I am back, unabashedly and proud!